Monday, November 08, 2004

Looking back....

So here is my first day without substance, and when I say substance, I mean powder. Marijauna will be by my side throughout this experience.... a crutch for a crutch...... but a healthier choice. After all Ive been able to function on marijuana for some time now, with the effects having lost themselves to my high tolerance. Marijuana was always a background high for my friends and I, one on which other highs could be built. It's funny, when you attempt to cease drug use, its hard to think about anything else. Just to set the record straight the only boarder I havent crossed is the injection of heroin for fear of never crossing back. That's not to say I didn't acheive similar highs one way or another. Oxy for instance. This was a drug I knew very well, one that changed my lifstyle for a long time. You see, being surounded by drugs brought about, oppurtunities, intances in which you could capitalize. One such instance, was with a person I met through school away from home. Their family member had a monthly prescription to 50, 40mg OC's which I could purchase at $13 a piece. They didn't like the effects of Oxy and to my excitment enjoyed the medicinal properties of marijuana instead, and this lead to my introduction in to the world of drug trade (the bartering system at its best).

So it worked like clockwork, every 20th of the month I attained $650 or 2 1/2 ounces of some "super cool oregano" and made the trade for my drug of choice. Now if you look at drug prices today you can see that 2 1/2 ounces wasnt gonna cost me no $650. At least with the "hooks" Ive aquired I can get a QP (quarter pound) of some just flat out great pot for $800. Not BC brick weed or some low quality marijuana, this was great stuff, ak-47 was the title of the strain. This was only avialable because I grew up with the growers, my friends of many years. Now you see my spending increased by $150 but the cost was much more managable with the product.

So on the 20th of the month, after all had been done, I would be left with 50, 40 mg Oxys, 1 1/2 ounces of Mary Jane and of course a $800 debt. Lets take a second and look at the street prices of today. A broken up ounce of marijuna will go for $320, $40 1/8. OC's can be sold as high as a dollar per mg. So instantly I would move the ounce keeping the remaining 1/2 as personal for the month. Here I am only $480 dollars in debt. Next the seal would be broke on the Oxy stash. I would sell 20, 40 mg right off to friends that drove 2 hours and would normaly meet me the night of the 20th (As you can see this was a addiction we all shared). So they would take them from me at $25 a piece which is and incredible mark up almost 100%. They inturn would move them at $30-$40. There I'd be, at the end of the 20th day of the month with $20 dollars in my pocket, 1/2 ounce of weed, and 30, 40mg beans of OC. This is what brought me to the next level of addiction.

It started out with me keeping it to the weekends, not letting it interfere with school or family, following the master plan I had laid down. I would party like a rock star 2 days a week and sell the rest for profit. Oh and profit there was, scrapin up the $800 the following month wasn't even a chore. Soon it became a daily ritual, railing Oxy 20-40mg at a time. I would mix it up 60mg some days, 20mg on others, and occasionally a day without. This went on for close to a year and then I started to go dry a day or two before it was time to refill. I had started giving less to my friends and keepin more for myself. I was doing 2000mg of Oxy a month without thinking twice. So of course I dont realize my problem until I dont have enough to be content 50, 40mg couldn't feed my weakness. Im not going to lie, I was a walking zombie living in a dream world. This brings about a good question, where do you turn when your buried above your head in shit. Well, I made the decision to climb out of one pile of shit and dive head first into another pile labeled, Glass (Crystal Meth, Meth, ect.. the list goes on), but thats another story in itself.. one for another day.

A new crutch... to take the place of the old


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