Sunday, November 07, 2004

What could it hurt?

I've asked this question to myself alot, and for the first time in a long while the anwser is none. The driving force behind this site is to more or less vent all my internal frustrations and angers with the world to whomever (You the face free people that might glance over this and search for intrest).

So it comes down to this, I have lost three close friends, in three weeks. Each one to the vices a group of us shared. Even after morning three friends I am compelled to choose the same path. I'm an adict. I have been a consistent drug user for four years now, and as I look back what a colorful four years its been. I started using drugs I feel to answer questions that I didnt fully understand and in result Im only left with more questions. Today will be the start of my battle with addiction, because I feel that im not a strong enough person to handle what Ive been practicing for so long. I quit, there its is in writting. This will be me remising on past experiences as well as all the information that Ive read and accumulated over the years. A drug journal more or less, started at the end of drug use. We will see what happens...

So Ive decided to step back from the table, to not forget, but to remember and to hopefully find some answers. This will be the end of my first post for I fear to invest too much time into a lost cause.

"I don't take drugs as an escape trick, like some cheap magician on a cruise ship. I take drugs to find gold, like a greedy prospector in the backcountry. There are those who take drugs to be cool and those who take drugs to expand. I am not James Dean. I'm a balloon. And god has a mouth on my hole. And is blowing. And filling me up. One day I will explode. And then I will be free. "

- Robert Sedlack, "The African Safari Papers"

My last shards of glass.....


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